Thursday, September 15, 2005

Evolution of the "Hipon"

(subtitled "A shrimp will always be a shrimp")

Me and my ex-buddy spongebob squarepants(yeah it's ex buddy....
Patrick's his new best bud now) used to hang out in the beach and do
some jellyfishing. We run along the seashore, never minding other
peeps that we stepped on(since they're sunbathing) and fill our
hearts with pure fun and enjoyment. Not until we met this guy
Mr. Shrimp.

Yeah, he was a twinkie... I nearly broke his back when I stepped
on it... It wasn't my fault anyway! I didn't noticed him since I
thought he was just some piece of wood driven ashore by the waves.
I stopped jellyfishing for a while(with spongebob never noticing
that I was not with him anymore... he's just too smart not to know
that I wasn't at his side hehe) and apologized to poor Mr. Shrimp.

Me: "Dude, sorry talaga. I never noticed you were there on the
first place kasi. You are..."
Mr. Shrimp: "I am what? Too thin? too small? What?"
Me: "No... I didn't say that!(Though I was about to say
those words hehe)"
Mr. Shrimp: "Yeah? I did not hear you say it! but at the back
of your mind, I can hear you shouting those words!"
Me: "Dude kulit mo ha... bakit may esp ka ba?"

So we continued arguing and arguing(with spongebob still
jellyfishing)until Mr. Shrimp got so emotional and started telling
his story:

"When I was still a "shrimplet" my friends use to tease me and
bully me around. My dad has always been busy with our family
business with Bubba Gump and Mom, she's taking care of my other
1440 sibblings. I feel so rejected coz I never looked like my other
siblings. They are meaty, juicy... healthier than I am. I separate
myself from them coz I feel so different. It wasn't my fault that
I am born this way! But I can't help but think of my misfortune.
Dad says that I can never enter our business since I look too skinny
and pale for him to introduce me to other company owners."

I was about to tap him in the shoulders when he said:

"But now, with what you have done to me, I am determined
to change myself so that you guys won't pity and insult me
anymore! I HAD ENOUGH!"

Without saying another word, Mr. Shrimp swam away from where
we were arguing and haven't heard of him....

Until just some weeks ago, when I was totally depressed(since
Spongebob threw me away in exchange for that starfish guy
Patrick), this lifeguard approached me and said, "What do you
think of me now?" My eyes were welcomed with chiseled-abs,
protruding chest(nagmumura sa sobrang tambok hehe) and
hard-rock muscles over the arms and legs. "Who the fuck are you?"
The sunlight was too bright so I have to stand from where I was
lying and check the guy.

Mr. Shrimp: "Hey it's me. The one you stepped on when you
were jellyfishing."
Me: "Hell, ikaw ba yung payatot dati?"
Mr. Shrimp: "Well, not anymore!!! After I met you, I quickly
applied for membership in Bikini Bottom Gym and worked out.
Thanks man, you pushed me to be like this."
Me: "Oh well, thanks to me... HAR HAR!"
Mr. Shrimp: "So what do you think of me now? Still thin and
ugly for you?"
Me: "Definitely not thin anymore! But doesn't mean that when
you're buffed you're face would change!"
Mr. Shrimp: "What do you mean by that?"
Me: "Dude, you're not a shrimp anymore. You're a lobster!"

This is how he looks like now:


(to those interested, contact me @ nyvs_xian@yahoo.com! I
have his number!:D)


Created entropy at 12:24 AM
they who have seen

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Cute Vs. Gwapo




When I was in high school(and when I was still straight hehe), I can recall how my girl classmates argue over guys passing corridors. I often here them mumble, "uy ang gwapo talaga ni ganto... hinde di naman masyado cute lang..." as they whispher to each others' ears so that our instructors won't hear them. Now when I hang around the mall with my gay and bisexual friends they often look around(with their heads moving 360 degrees hehe)and hunt for guys within the vicinity. They usually argue whether a guy that they spotted should be categorized as gwapo or cute.

Well my perception of cute and gwapo(handsome) initially is that when you say gwapo it's undeniably attractive, deserves-a-second-look, hey-my-undie's-wet kinda guy. On the other hand, a cute guy is someone with personality, but less of the physical attributes.

But what's the difference anyway? I did a simple "post-over-the-chatroom" survey on what is cute and gwapo for them? And I did find some very interesting answers:

Cute for them is:
- unattractive but pleasing to look at
- pleasing, but not ugly
-"di nakakalibog" but not ugly
- ugly but interesting
- small, ugly, and "walang brains"

Gwapo for them is:
- someone with oozing sex appeal
- "nakakalibog"
- good-looking per se
- pleasing to the eye, "di masyadong vain", "di boy-next-door", construction worker-type(?)

Besides these results, I asked the respondents who, for them is gwapo and cute. These are their answers:

Gwapo:
- Rico(from Pinoy Big Brother)
- Ryan Agoncillo
- Brent Javier(Shouldn't he be categorized as "Maganda"? kiddin)
- Marc Nelson
- Piolo Pascual(another "maganda")
- Alfred Vargas




Cute:(Only got two results)

- Uma(from Pinoy Big Brother)
- Mura(BWAHAHAHA)


From my findings, I formulated conclusions of my own on how one can define if a guy is cute or "gwapo".

Conclusions:
- "cosmopolitan bachelor" look-alike, you're gwapo
- defined and toned body packaged with nice facial features, you're gwapo(with some exceptions)
- if you make a number of people horny everytime you pass by, you're gwapo(take note... a number! not only one! Do I make sense? hehe)
- if you're nice, and no one's rejecting you so far, you're cute
- if you're small, baby-faced, and sweet, you're cute
- if you look like mura, you're cute



As soon as I got my conclusions all packed-up, another question popped-up inside my brain. How about those buffed, body-to-die-for but never-mind-the-face guys? Where should I put them? That, my readers, is another story! hehe that's for my next blog! :P

P.S. To those who want to attest on what I placed in my blogspot, just leave me a comment ok? :P


Created entropy at 1:47 AM
they who have seen

Monday, September 12, 2005

Where my "Messing around with codes" has led Me


It was just yesterday when I was looking over some nicely-designed blogspots via my friend Martin's website. From funky, to gothic, to corporate, to eccentric: I hopped from one blogspot to another. It's really engulfing all of the internet freaks out there- this online journal thing is really making it's way towards information superhighway stardom!--and it's taking me with it!

This isn't my first time to be making these blogshit thingies. I already have made several of such. But problem is, I am not that committed in maintaining my blogs as regular as possible. But just then I had discovered about blogger tags(And thank God there are blogger tags!)! Getting to the techie side of blogspotting, these tags, when used with HTML(Hypertext Markup Language) and CSS(Cascading Stylesheets) works wonders! Since I had some background with web page design and dev, I excitingly planned on my new blogspot wherein I can customize everything inside it!

Ehem... now I have to learn about the blogger tags. As I searched for online tutorials I was devastated to find out how complicated they are! WTF what are these <$ArchiveItemshit> etcetera codes, etcetera codes for? If I only had a USB port in my head I would gladly transfer these files to my brain!(Did I just say that? I guess I'm turning into a total computer geeko! CREEPY!) I need to take a shortcut!

Second step: Think of the next best thing to do. And in this case, it is to find someone who knows how to do it! Hoard..... I mean borrow their codes and use them as bases and patterns(to all programmers in the house, guess you're agreeing with me in this one!). So I logged on to some mIRC(microsoft Internet Relay Chat) rooms and posted:

(tagablog)Sino mga expert dyan sa paggawa ng blogspot! Patulong naman! (Translation: Any blogspot geniuses in the room? Help me please!)

After some time, someone by the nick of BooRadley macked me(you can visit his site by clicking here). He asked me if I had some background with tags, and handed over me some of his codes. Alas, some fresh air at last! This guy stayed online with me while I'm checking out his codes as patterns for my own. While I'm into making my blogspot, he also introduced me to a lot of techie goodies(which I was also excited to try out!). Night was already turning into morning, and I got sleepy. I bid goodbye to internet world a bit and entered the world of slumber.

Woke up around 10:30 a.m. and I was almost finished in what I was doing. I logged on to the chatroom again, and was so glad that my blogspot messiah, BooRadley was also online! So we had some chitchat while I was completing my work, and I can't believe how he was more excited than me! Finished my codes 3:30-ish, and the worse part is just about to start.... DEBUGGING TIME!!!

Erase some codes here, add some codes there... omg where is this leading me to? Check how the site looks over browser#1, man it's all f*cked up! Edit some more, check how site looks over browser #2, where the f*ck is my profile! Edit... edit... erase... add... my hope with what I'm doing is getting as vague as with that of some mere human fighting an immortal!

But if Einstein has taught me of one thing, it is never to give up!

After endless modification of codes, at last, I fixed my browser debugging problems! And the result is what you are seeing RIGHT NOW. Guess it's pretty neat for me! :)

Lessons I have learned:

1. Never underestimate the effect of a single, small error not only in codes, but in everythin. Just like the Axe Deo Spray Commercial, small Axe, big effect! hehe

2. Never lose focus on things whenever it gets more complicated. Once you lost focus, you're back to step 1 baby!

3. Shortcuts do not exist to make things easier, rather, it's the contrary. It only cuts the time one spends in doing a certain process. Slowly but surely is much better!(Did I say it right?)

4. And lastly, never give up on what you have just started! When we give up, we did not only waste the time that we just used up to accomplish a task, we also dumped this certain alternate future of us succeeding over it! :)


Created entropy at 7:24 PM
they who have seen